Posts Tagged ‘stripper’

Part four of my Let’s Hear It From The Boys series brings us the very lovely Mr Benedict Garrett (@benedictgarrett), aka Johnny Cockfill to those in the know! Benedict has an impressive resume, including “Sexual Activist & Radical Sex Educationalist, Founder of ‘BIRDS, BEES, PLEASE’ and the ‘GET REAL!’ Sex Ed Campaign, Erotic Award Winner 2013, Big Brother housemate 2012, Actor & Entertainer”. He has also been a stripper, male escort and porn performer, having begun his foray into the adult world 10 years ago when he started shooting porn. He has also done mainstream acting and appeared on mainstream TV chat shows! WOW!
So naturally I was very pleased when he responded to my cry for help with this little piece I’ve been working on. Accustomed as he is to public speaking I knew that the responses he would give would be succinct, well-informed and honest – he didn’t disappoint…Do you think people react differently to men in the adult industry compared to women?

Obviously, being a man, I can only speak first-hand about my own experience. Of course, I hear views being banded around about the perceptions of women in the business, but these can also, perhaps to a lesser extent, be echoed about the men too. I think views are incredibly diverse and, thankfully, changing. I think it is also probably true to say that, by and large, there is this notion that men who do adult work are to be envied, while the women are just ‘sluts’, or victims of a patriarchal system or desperate situation that has ‘forced’ them into this line of work and, therefore, to be pitied. Equally, I cannot say that I am not occasionally in receipt of, sometimes offensive, and condescending, comments from all sorts of people. However, I have noticed, that no-one ever has the audacity to say anything to my face (except in specifically staged debates and interviews). When I raise my line of work with an unsuspecting audience, they tend to be more curious and intrigued than wishing to cast any form of judgement on my choices. But, then again, I am a man. A 6ft 2in, 15 stone man, to top it off. Maybe I would be an easier target for their ‘abuse’ and ‘aspersions’ if I was female.

How very true! On to the next question then, which was: Anti-sex work people like to use the argument that porn/sex work objectifies women. Do you, as a man, feel objectified, or do you enjoy the attention?

I am objectified. When someone comes to see me strip or watches me having sex, they have no intention to see beyond the physical. And why should they? We are selling the aesthetic. If I wanted to sell my intellect, I would be writing books or speaking publicly (which, as it happens, I also do at other times). Pornography & stripping are visual performances Their main aim is to visually stimulate. This may, in turn, cause other responses within an individual, but primarily we are putting ourselves forward as objects. I see nothing wrong with that. Objectification, for as long as we are visually stimulated beings, is a fact within the human condition. We need not feel bad or guilty about that. As long as we are able to place that into a context that does not see individuals ONLY as objects. I can look at an individual and find them physically attractive. Only a complete idiot, bereft of even the most basic intellectual capabilities and social skills, would neglect the fact that, if they were ever to meet that person, the object of their affection is more than simply skin and bones. The majority of us are able to balance a physical lust or titillation with the reality that every human has feelings, emotions, intelligence, family, friends, interests and everything else that comes with being a member of the human race. Knowing all of this does not mean that we cannot deny, within a balanced lifestyle, our right to be physically aroused by another human.

I would be lying if I did not admit to enjoying the attention most of the time. It is, of course an ego boost to realise that, some people at least, enjoy your performance and are attracted to you in some way. However, while I accept that, as a male stripper, audience members will try to touch us, stroke our muscles, smack our behinds, squeeze our packages (all of which would never be permitted within a female stripping venue), I do draw the line at what I would class as ‘abuse’. On several occasions, I have had to turn ’teacher mode’ on audience members who deem it acceptable to scratch my back. THIS I find totally intolerable. Thankfully, it doesn’t often happen, but enough times for me to always now be on my guard.

On a more positive note, I often meet the people who come to see me strip after my performance and they are usually pleasantly surprised that I am able to string a sentence together.

Yikes! Interesting, though, how what would be deemed totally unacceptable to do to female strippers, is apparently ok to do to male strippers?! I’ve only ever been present at one male “stripping” before (believe it or not) and the poor girl who’s birthday it was was so mortified that the guy did very little other than wave his wanger in her face. Although she reckons she noshed him off after – again, that would be a no-no with a female stripper! Then again, maybe some people like that kinda thing. Similarly, Benedict went on to point out that what some people might see as a bad thing, others might not! Pros and cons are in the eye of the beholder, perhaps…

I think both of these can be subjective depending on what kind of personality you are. But here goes:

Pros:
– You are getting paid to have sex.
– You meet some interesting people and get to shoot, sometimes, in some fascinating places.
– You get paid a relatively decent rate for what is, for many, a dream job. At the very least, I certainly would not class it as ‘hard’ work, although many people would not be able to do it.
– If you enjoy attention, you certainly get plenty of that.

Cons:
– Working in porn obviously carries a health risk, which you minimise through regular sexual health screening (FYI, so far, I have never contracted an STI in my entire life)me neither!
– Although it is sex, it can be quite demanding and you must do what is asked of you. You are not there to simply get your rocks off. Often, I do live sex shows which last for 4.5 hours. That can be tiring!
– There are some things that even I can find hard to do on demand at times, I am not a machine!
– Work is not always regular and the British porn scene is very small.
– Thankfully, there aren’t many guys in British porn because most guys aren’t able to perform, so there’s not too much competition out there.
– Working in porn obviously carries a stigma which may be carried with you into other aspects of your life and affect your future career prospects as well as your relationship with your family and friends and your ability to maintain a lover, if you are tying to do so.
– You may have to work with people you are not attracted to.
– In stripping, the potential for physical abuse, as mentioned above.
– Finally, in stripping, tying up your cock is not necessarily the best thing to be doing regularly to your penis.

Any bad experiences in your line of work Mr. Garrett?

Stripping: aside from the scratchers, not really. I try to avoid any 1-to-1 booking requests because I know they are only inviting problems.
I was once booked to strip in a venue called ‘The Hoist’ in London, being told I was just to perform my normal routine. When I turned up, I was surrounded by sweaty men wearing little more than leather floss. I was informed that if all I was going to do was strip, that the punters would not be happy. I was told I could leave if I wished. I promptly hauled my clothed ass out of there!

Porn: Not really. On a totally shallow note, I have worked with girls I really was not attracted to and, as awful as it sounds, would rather have stayed at home eating crumpets while watching ‘Murder She Wrote’. Beyond that, no, I have never had, nor witnessed any bad experiences in porn. I have had far more worse experiences in the ‘mainstream’ world.

Haha! So Benedict Garrett is a Jessica Fletcher fan! Who knew?! Best bits about the job?

The places I go, the people I meet, pushing myself to try new things, over-coming barriers, and, mostly, I love challenging people’s perceptions of me and other people who work in the industry.

Abso-bloody-lutely. If you’ve been keeping up to date with this blog you will know full well we are all about chalenging perceptions and stereotypes here! Thank you ever so much to Benedict for contributing, I appreciate that getting annoying emails asking for your thought and opinions take time to reply to and for that I am very grateful.
Aaaand finally, you can keep up to date with all Benedict’s comings and goings via his twitter @benedictgarrett and his website, www.benedictgarrett.com

Here’s part 2 of my exploration of adult workers with degrees and an education! Yes, the two can co-exist hand in hand, you don’t need to be a dumbass to get naked for a living, contrary to popular belief!

“Adult worker” can cover many different occupations, although the dictionary defines this term as a polite term for prostitution. Webcam model, phone sex operator, dancer, porn star, escort…or, a naked handyman!

@mynakedhandyman very kindly agreed to answer some questions for me in my quest to show the nay-sayers that not everyone who is nude at work is an illiterate, uneducated fool, as society at large would have us believe. As his Twitter handle may suggest, Andy is a naked handyman! He gets paid to do work for both couples and singles, whilst totally in the buff. He will also include some little added extras, if they so desire!

Andy is super clever – he already has a degree in English, and is now currently studying again for his Masters in Marketing and PR, with a view to starting his own PR agency some day. He began his foray into all things naked during his first spell at university, working as a stripper and a life model. As with so many graduates – myself included – after university he was struggling with debts and did various jobs to get by, but found out that he could get paid handsomely for doing people’s odd jobs and cleaning whilst starkers! In fact, he liked it so much, that he still does it to this day!

When I asked Andy if he has ever encountered any prejudice or negative responses to what he does, he said:

Not that many people know I do what I do but anyone who has found out has generally been supportive. The males think it’s a great idea and the women are quite often very curious!

Andy made a very good point about perception when I went to ask if people are surprised or shocked when they find out he is studying at university:

I’ve not had that many people be surprised when I tell them I’m back studying. I’ve always been relatively keen on education and I’m well spoken so people often think I’m more intelligent that I am! Sadly, the power of an accent nowadays can mask anything – it’s all about image. This is why I’m very keen on getting into PR – it’s all about people’s perception.

Andy’s final words on the subect remind me of careers day at school – and I wish I had paid more attention back then!

If anyone out there wants to study – go for it. It’s never too late and there’s never anything that’s not worthwhile studying – if it interests you, then you’ll find it both challenging and rewarding.

So there you go, guys – you CAN study at Masters level AND get yer kit off for a living! Stigmas are attached by people – and can be removed by them, too. Open up your mind – your brains won’t fall out, and something nice might just fall in…Part 3 coming up!

So the other day I noticed that a girl I followed on Twitter said that people are always surprised to hear that she is at university, on account of the fact that she is also a model, lapdancer and webcam girl. This resonated with me; people always seem shocked to hear that I too have a degree. This got me thinking that having both a brain and a career in the adult industry are not mutually exclusive. So I decided to write about it here. This blog post is a little different to the others as I have asked several other adult workers or various descriptions to contribute! I have also split it into several parts on account of the number of contributors! So this is part 1.

The girl who got me thinking in the first place is one Miss Lesley Rose (@MissLesleyRose). We met at an adult industry Christmas party a year or so ago and have been twitter followers ever since. Lesley is currently studying a BSc(Hons) degree in Psychology with Child Development, with a view to eventually working with children with special educational needs – specifically, those with motor function difficulties. She is also a webcam model and lapdancer.

Lesley was already a lapdancer before commencing her studies, and, as so often is the case, this led to modelling jobs. However, as any dancer will tell you, it’s hard to maintain a good living out of dancing as more girls come to the clubs, or they shut down altogether. Lesley then turned to webcamming, after a brief stint working on the adult chat channels.

When asked if she has ever encountered any prejudice based on what she does, Lesley says:

I think people assume I’m slow or stupid when I’m not. And they think I’m doing a degree for show and not because I know what I’m doing when I’m actually smashing it and I just finished my semester with a First. I think people don’t look past the job title and think “oh she must have no brain”. Countless times people have either been shocked that I’m doing a degree or doing so well at it. People say things like “oh she gets her tits out cause that’s all she’s good for” when that’s not the case at all.

I also asked Lesley if, like me, people are surprised when they find out she is a student, knowing what she does for a living, and vice versa. She replied:

Yeah they’re shocked! And then they assume that I HAVE to do what I do because I have no money which again isn’t true. I choose to do my job because I love it not because I NEED to. People at uni don’t know what I do, bar one person, and she’s really not bothered by it at all.

Lesley’s final words, which I shall end this blog post on for now, pretty much sum up how I also feel about people’s attitudes to adult workers that also, God forbid, have an education!:

I think people need to stop being so narrow minded. A lot of men and women in the adult industry get judged based on their jobs as if being in the industry makes you less of a person. Now I don’t speak for all parties involved but you would be surprised how many girls have a degree, have husbands, wives, fiancés, work in a corporate environment and in the adult industry as a fun sideline. Just stop judging people.

Feel the love, people! More in Part 2 – from a naked handyman studying for his masters in Marketing & PR…