Posts Tagged ‘porn’

Punters – Part 3

Posted: April 10, 2014 in Punters
Tags: , , ,

I am getting such a good response to my Punters series of blog posts! Better keep the crowds happy, then – here is number three!
I am going to call this guy MJ as he has asked to be anonymous. (NB: not his actual initials)
The very first question I asked was about MJ’s adult service habits – which ones does he use, how long for, and why! This is what he said…

I use webcams a lot – at least once a day if only to pop in and say Hi to the girls I am in regular cam contact with. I use phone chats fairly regularly but due to making huge £1000 plus phone bills a few months running this has been cut down dramatically . I do go to a lapdance club but this is mainly because the girl I am currently involved with works there.
Ok why do I use them? It’s fairly simple – in real life face to face meets with women I am crap , I can’t tell if a lady likes me or not so to be able to see a beautiful girl on the telly and know it’s her I am chatting to makes me comfortable. Plus the girls on screen are unobtainable, they are never going to be sat in a bar face to face with me so I feel I can be open and honest. I have in more recent years found the web-camming a great source of finding ladies who like my kinks to talk to.

Interesting answer! MJ has been using these phone chat channels and sites since his early twenties – although he did not say how old he is now, so I am going out on a limb and assuming that this constitutes quite a long time!
So MJ, how do you view the ladies you like to interact with?

In my opinion, I see the women in porn as people – one of my bestest buddies does webcam, phonechat and dominatrix stuff. I first met her on webcam years ago and she was real, she was human I could have a chat with her and shes a lovely lady. I have always had a respect for the ladies who do this work. I may be cheeky I may get a little horny but I never degrade or be openly nasty to any of them, most of the girls I have spoken to all seem to think I am lovely so I must be at least doing something right.

So it would appear from MJ’s answer, and indeed those of the other fellas I have spoken to, that they can actually distinguish between a fantasy figure and a real person – something that the antis like to refute with great gusto. This ties in nicely to my next question, which was about whether these “virtual” relationships interfere with his “real” relationships –

I have no real personal relationships due to my lack of confidence. I am pretty much single so to be fair my relationships with the ladies I phone or webcam with are my most real ones.

I don’t think you can call a relationship with a camgirl or phone chat host not real – if you’re interacting regularly with someone, of course you get to know them! Lots of my regular callers and cammers do genuinely care and I care about them too – it’s not like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but it is definitely a friendship!
I then asked MJ who some of his favourites were – I appreciate this is a hard question, especially when you speak to a lot of girls a lot of the time! But MJ managed to narrow it down to five…

Miss AmberLeigh .
Beth from Babestation adorable little Kiwi .
Brookelynne Briar beautiful Canadian lady who is so sweet .
Alex Adams now retired from the shows but lovely little blonde nutcase .
October Summers and MFC cam girl who is so adorable .
For any ladies who cam this isn’t an exhaustive list and depending on what your into you may get added !!

Hear that ladies?! MJ’s top five could be expanded if you hit the right buttons for this lovely chap!
I then went on to discuss whether, for MJ, a real time meet is preferable to one over the phone or webcam…

I have only had one proper real time meeting with a very lovely lady who fulfilled a long lived fantasy of mine (and hers) and it was amazing! I was nervous as hell but she made me feel at ease and I loved every minute, the practicality of it is the webcams allow me easier and cheaper access to the things I like. My kink isn’t appreciated by all so finding ladies willing to play face to face can be difficult.

Oooh, I am interested to hear what this “kink” is – but MJ did not elaborate so I shall only guess for now! 😉
A final message from MJ – and although he has claimed anonymity, I’m sure that the girls who know him will be able to tell who it is!

I would like to say in the many years I have used the phonechats and Cams it has been rare to find any lady to be anything but professional you ladies that do talk to me regularly know who you are and I love you all to bits . I have along the way made a really good friend who I adore and care about heaps and as long as I can afford to keep talking camming and finding ladies willing I shall help to keep the industry afloat.

What a lovely chap! I do hope that you find your way into my chatroom soon, MJ, you all know I love an interesting fetish!!! Thank you for contributing to the blog, I hope that people take note of your words and realise that not all men who use adult oriented services are horrible old pervs – I can assure you, they are not!

Punters – Part 2

Posted: April 9, 2014 in Punters
Tags: , , , ,

Well I do hope you enjoyed the last post – I must say, I do feel very touched when people agree to help me out with my little blog, especially those who wish to remain anonymous – they are trusting me with some very personal and private things, and I feel very humble to think that these people – some of whom are complete strangers – trust me enough to share this!
Anywho, before I get too sentimental, I thought I would continue. This next post is brought to you courtesy of a chap called Wayne. Wayne has been using escorts for many years now, and has also dabbled in webcam activities and the odd visit to a strip club or two. An enthusiastic punter, Wayne started availing himself of the many wonderful pleasures of the flesh as soon as he turned 18! No hanging about for this chap! His very first punt was in a London walk up (for those of you unfamiliar with the term – literally, an open door down a backstreet, typically somewhere like Soho, leading to stairs, which would prompt you to “walk up” them!) and that, as they say, is history!
Again, having been a regular gentleman caller for a long time, Wayne has come to realise that working girls are real people too!

I see ladies working in the industry as women making a living, they provide a service that i enjoy and don’t mind paying to use. I have seen a few ladies on more than one occasion, one becoming very close to them. Have even been out on a dog walk with one before sexual services.

Ah, nothing like a brisk walk of the hound to whet one’s sexual appetite huh?! I can understand how it’s very easy to view people in the context of their job – and sex work is not exempt from that. However it’s also just as easy to remember that we are all human, we all have feelings, and, yes, sometimes, we have to walk the dog before we get on with work!
I asked Wayne if he thought his use of adult services affected his personal relationships at all. He answered me with this:

I was single for a long time, I worked nights so having a relationship was very hard. Once I was in one, I stopped seeing ladies but still watched the odd webcam show. In between relationships, I saw escorts as saw it as an easy way to get sex! I could pick a lady and give them a call.

Well that is true, the beauty of sex work has to be the convenience, surely?! A simple and easy transaction whereby everyone is satisfied. I asked Wayne if he had any favourites, initially meaning babeshow hosts or cam girls. Due to my not having made this clear, Wayne answered that although he had A LOT of favourites, his real preference was for porn star escorts. I have heard from lots of people, on both sides of the transaction, that some people like to meet escorts who have been pornstars, or still are. I suppose it’s the porn equivalent to meeting Johnny Depp or Scarlett Johanssen or someone that you’ve lusted after in a movie for years, and then you get to bone them! Winner! Now if only Captain America was offering his services for a fee…!!! Wayne then went on to say that he had actually met two of his favourite pornstars for escort meets several times. Lucky Wayne!
Despite not being able to beat the real thing, Wayne says that he probably now uses webcam more often, as he finds this most convenient. When asked if there was anything else he would like to add to this blog post, all he said was, “please don’t think I’m a pervert!”
I don’t think you’re a pervert at all dear; there is nothing wrong with a healthy interest in sex and sexual outlets!

I’m on a bloody roll tonight! So I decided to ask my lifelong friends about their views on the sex industry and how these may have changed since I became a part of it. I asked five of them and only one of the came back to me, the bloody bastards! Although, two of them have kids, one’s just had another, and the other is a workaholic! So thank you very much to my lovely friend who did reply, and I’m glad it was her as her responses are quite funny as well as being interesting to read!
The first question I asked was “What were your opinions/thoughts on the sex industry before I told you I had started working in it?”
Her answer was this…

The sex industry, in my opinion was always a bit of a naughty taboo that I was intrigued by but would be embarrassed to tell any partner, even friends without a few glasses of wine under my belt.
The girls… Yes, I admit, I perceived them as needy, attention seeking slut bags who were probably only in the industry because they could not get a ‘proper’ job. Was I a tad jealous of their sexual confidence and body confidence? For the most part yes, yes I was.

Pretty standard response there – one I held myself for many years! Desperately curious, but taught to shun and look down my nose at it. Typical!
I then asked her if these opinions had changed since I became a “needy slut-bag” haha!

Definitely! Where I still think there are a small majority of needy slut bags, on the whole I have learned people in the industry just love sex and have made a career doing what they love. Is this not what everyone would like to do? As long as the performers are consenting adults then it’s not an issue.

Funnily enough, she wasn’t all that surprised when I started my foray into the world of adult misadventure!

Shock, surprise, utter disbelief? Not in the slightest….
Not because I perceived you as said slut bag, but because you’ve always expressed an interest in this area, you are sexually open minded and enjoy ‘trying new things’ and you’re good at it! Why wouldn’t you turn it into a way to make a living?
I did however have my concerns, mostly about safety. But after much reassurance I realised if things are done in a safe controlled environment then it’s not to different to any other job. You go there, you perform to the best of your ability (for the lost part) then go home.
Another concern, what will people think? Would you be recognised, would people be horrible to you etc etc. Yes some where, some friends didn’t agree with this new lifestyle choice, but on the whole most were intrigued and excited about our old friends new job. The stories we heard…. 😉

Ah, gee thanks, so glad you don’t think I’m a slut-bag, pal! HA!
Do you think people automatically have negative views of the sex industry, then?

Yes, I certainly did. On the whole it’s seen as being a bit seedy, maybe dirty? (In most senses of the word) but after hearing your experience, I have learned most in the industry are functioning members of society, this for them is a profession, some a hobby but maybe for a tiny percentage a necessity to fulfill their financial and maybe emotional needs.

I wish I could pinpoint where this automatic conditioning against sex, sexuality and sex work comes from!? But I think it is so deep-rooted in society that we don’t even notice until the opportunity arises to challenge and question it?!
So then I went all mainstream and political and asked my bestie what she thought about all the crap in the media about censorship and the banning of porn and prostitution. A deep and compelling subject, between two friends who think farts and toilet humour is hilarious.

I think if it was banned people will still find a way and as with anything this will create a much more dangerous environment where things will not be as controlled and the performers will not be treated as well as they are within most legitimate work places. I do not think watching porn makes you some depraved sex addict who rapes, attacks, abuses another person as much as I don’t think watching a horror film will make you want to go on a murderous rampage.

So, any final words to our lovely readers then love?!

In my humble opinion, as long as you are not hurting yourself or others either physically, mentally or otherwise it is utterly your prerogative to do what you like, with whoever you like, however you like! What’s the difference between being paid to perform sexually, and going out on a Saturday night and having sex with a stranger and leaving the next morning with nothing more than a raging hangover and the taxi fare home? About £200 quid (depending on the performance)!
The difference being the latter is more sociably acceptable. Most people have done it so it’s ok. The porn industry has been much more featured in the media lately showing the ‘normal’ side to people in the industry and I think this has been in the main a positive thing for the industry and it’s employees.

So there you go. That’s what my best friend thinks about my career choice! If the others ever get back to me, I’ll let you know! Until then, catch up on all my other posts, and keep an eye out for the next lot – which comes from the service users!!!

Part four of my Let’s Hear It From The Boys series brings us the very lovely Mr Benedict Garrett (@benedictgarrett), aka Johnny Cockfill to those in the know! Benedict has an impressive resume, including “Sexual Activist & Radical Sex Educationalist, Founder of ‘BIRDS, BEES, PLEASE’ and the ‘GET REAL!’ Sex Ed Campaign, Erotic Award Winner 2013, Big Brother housemate 2012, Actor & Entertainer”. He has also been a stripper, male escort and porn performer, having begun his foray into the adult world 10 years ago when he started shooting porn. He has also done mainstream acting and appeared on mainstream TV chat shows! WOW!
So naturally I was very pleased when he responded to my cry for help with this little piece I’ve been working on. Accustomed as he is to public speaking I knew that the responses he would give would be succinct, well-informed and honest – he didn’t disappoint…Do you think people react differently to men in the adult industry compared to women?

Obviously, being a man, I can only speak first-hand about my own experience. Of course, I hear views being banded around about the perceptions of women in the business, but these can also, perhaps to a lesser extent, be echoed about the men too. I think views are incredibly diverse and, thankfully, changing. I think it is also probably true to say that, by and large, there is this notion that men who do adult work are to be envied, while the women are just ‘sluts’, or victims of a patriarchal system or desperate situation that has ‘forced’ them into this line of work and, therefore, to be pitied. Equally, I cannot say that I am not occasionally in receipt of, sometimes offensive, and condescending, comments from all sorts of people. However, I have noticed, that no-one ever has the audacity to say anything to my face (except in specifically staged debates and interviews). When I raise my line of work with an unsuspecting audience, they tend to be more curious and intrigued than wishing to cast any form of judgement on my choices. But, then again, I am a man. A 6ft 2in, 15 stone man, to top it off. Maybe I would be an easier target for their ‘abuse’ and ‘aspersions’ if I was female.

How very true! On to the next question then, which was: Anti-sex work people like to use the argument that porn/sex work objectifies women. Do you, as a man, feel objectified, or do you enjoy the attention?

I am objectified. When someone comes to see me strip or watches me having sex, they have no intention to see beyond the physical. And why should they? We are selling the aesthetic. If I wanted to sell my intellect, I would be writing books or speaking publicly (which, as it happens, I also do at other times). Pornography & stripping are visual performances Their main aim is to visually stimulate. This may, in turn, cause other responses within an individual, but primarily we are putting ourselves forward as objects. I see nothing wrong with that. Objectification, for as long as we are visually stimulated beings, is a fact within the human condition. We need not feel bad or guilty about that. As long as we are able to place that into a context that does not see individuals ONLY as objects. I can look at an individual and find them physically attractive. Only a complete idiot, bereft of even the most basic intellectual capabilities and social skills, would neglect the fact that, if they were ever to meet that person, the object of their affection is more than simply skin and bones. The majority of us are able to balance a physical lust or titillation with the reality that every human has feelings, emotions, intelligence, family, friends, interests and everything else that comes with being a member of the human race. Knowing all of this does not mean that we cannot deny, within a balanced lifestyle, our right to be physically aroused by another human.

I would be lying if I did not admit to enjoying the attention most of the time. It is, of course an ego boost to realise that, some people at least, enjoy your performance and are attracted to you in some way. However, while I accept that, as a male stripper, audience members will try to touch us, stroke our muscles, smack our behinds, squeeze our packages (all of which would never be permitted within a female stripping venue), I do draw the line at what I would class as ‘abuse’. On several occasions, I have had to turn ’teacher mode’ on audience members who deem it acceptable to scratch my back. THIS I find totally intolerable. Thankfully, it doesn’t often happen, but enough times for me to always now be on my guard.

On a more positive note, I often meet the people who come to see me strip after my performance and they are usually pleasantly surprised that I am able to string a sentence together.

Yikes! Interesting, though, how what would be deemed totally unacceptable to do to female strippers, is apparently ok to do to male strippers?! I’ve only ever been present at one male “stripping” before (believe it or not) and the poor girl who’s birthday it was was so mortified that the guy did very little other than wave his wanger in her face. Although she reckons she noshed him off after – again, that would be a no-no with a female stripper! Then again, maybe some people like that kinda thing. Similarly, Benedict went on to point out that what some people might see as a bad thing, others might not! Pros and cons are in the eye of the beholder, perhaps…

I think both of these can be subjective depending on what kind of personality you are. But here goes:

Pros:
– You are getting paid to have sex.
– You meet some interesting people and get to shoot, sometimes, in some fascinating places.
– You get paid a relatively decent rate for what is, for many, a dream job. At the very least, I certainly would not class it as ‘hard’ work, although many people would not be able to do it.
– If you enjoy attention, you certainly get plenty of that.

Cons:
– Working in porn obviously carries a health risk, which you minimise through regular sexual health screening (FYI, so far, I have never contracted an STI in my entire life)me neither!
– Although it is sex, it can be quite demanding and you must do what is asked of you. You are not there to simply get your rocks off. Often, I do live sex shows which last for 4.5 hours. That can be tiring!
– There are some things that even I can find hard to do on demand at times, I am not a machine!
– Work is not always regular and the British porn scene is very small.
– Thankfully, there aren’t many guys in British porn because most guys aren’t able to perform, so there’s not too much competition out there.
– Working in porn obviously carries a stigma which may be carried with you into other aspects of your life and affect your future career prospects as well as your relationship with your family and friends and your ability to maintain a lover, if you are tying to do so.
– You may have to work with people you are not attracted to.
– In stripping, the potential for physical abuse, as mentioned above.
– Finally, in stripping, tying up your cock is not necessarily the best thing to be doing regularly to your penis.

Any bad experiences in your line of work Mr. Garrett?

Stripping: aside from the scratchers, not really. I try to avoid any 1-to-1 booking requests because I know they are only inviting problems.
I was once booked to strip in a venue called ‘The Hoist’ in London, being told I was just to perform my normal routine. When I turned up, I was surrounded by sweaty men wearing little more than leather floss. I was informed that if all I was going to do was strip, that the punters would not be happy. I was told I could leave if I wished. I promptly hauled my clothed ass out of there!

Porn: Not really. On a totally shallow note, I have worked with girls I really was not attracted to and, as awful as it sounds, would rather have stayed at home eating crumpets while watching ‘Murder She Wrote’. Beyond that, no, I have never had, nor witnessed any bad experiences in porn. I have had far more worse experiences in the ‘mainstream’ world.

Haha! So Benedict Garrett is a Jessica Fletcher fan! Who knew?! Best bits about the job?

The places I go, the people I meet, pushing myself to try new things, over-coming barriers, and, mostly, I love challenging people’s perceptions of me and other people who work in the industry.

Abso-bloody-lutely. If you’ve been keeping up to date with this blog you will know full well we are all about chalenging perceptions and stereotypes here! Thank you ever so much to Benedict for contributing, I appreciate that getting annoying emails asking for your thought and opinions take time to reply to and for that I am very grateful.
Aaaand finally, you can keep up to date with all Benedict’s comings and goings via his twitter @benedictgarrett and his website, www.benedictgarrett.com

Well bloody hell I haven’t blogged in ages! ChatGirlTVX has been keeping me very busy indeed! But never fear dear readers, and thank the curse of insomnia, as I am up and continuing my thread on males in the industry for you. Today we have part 3 of my Let’s Hear It From The Boys series, and I bring you – Sean Adams.(@seanadamsmodel)
I happened across Sean’s Adultwork profile when looking for people to interview. He was the only one I found that had LOADS of feedback (in my very quick search – I’m sure there are lots of other male escorts out there with great feedback!) so this stood out to me and I dropped him an email asking if he would like to contribute to my little blog here. And lucky for us, he did!
Sean describes himself as “an independent male escort, web cam performer, porn performer” and has appeared in both amateur and professional TV channels and productions. He’s been in the jizz biz since late 2006 so is no stranger to how it all works.
I asked him how he thinks people’s reactions differ to male and female sex workers…

I find from my experiences that the majority of people’s attitudes towards the adult industry is that males are referred to as “studs” or “gigolos”, females as “sluts” or “whores”. The same tends to be true of society in general. If a guy meets a girl one Saturday night in a club and takes her home, it is usually just the female who is frowned upon. However, these are not views that I share within the industry nor society in general.

A very good point. Males seem to get hailed as heroes if they fuck for a living, whereas women are shamed and pitied. Ridiculous, huh?! In my experience, no one is in the business for any reason other than they ENJOY IT! It would seem that Sean thinks the same way…

Firstly, from my experiences, everybody who I have met in the industry are in it because they want to be. People who object to porn/sex work would clearly never work in it for whatever reasons they have and so usually cannot understand why we do it, instantly assuming we are all looking to feed an addiction or as therapy to mask some form of abuse in our pasts. This is far from the truth. I love the attention and being watched having sex turns me on immensely, whether that be on a porn set, hearing from guys who were getting off watching my amateur or professional work, or even a “cuckold” husband watching as I take his wife right there in front of him!

So, come on then Sean, it can’t all be amazing, right?! What’re the pros and cons, in your view?

From my experiences, the pros do out weigh the cons, although some can be more difficult to deal with than others. Pros include the extravagant lifestyle that male escorting especially can bring. With most of my clients being couples (I have only ever met two females on bookings – one an ex-escort and the other a friend of an escort!) the guy will often want to impress his female partner by booking lavish hotel suits with champagne on ice and a hot tub in the room as opposed to a budget hotel off the M1, although there have been a few of those too! Often sat next to the champagne on the table is a pile of crisp cash, my reward for bringing this private and intimate evening to the couple’s life. I have also met some amazing people, whether they be clients, other escorts, porn performers, videographers or photographers. One regular couple even wanted me to join them for part of their annual two week holiday at a private Mediterranean villa for an all expenses and fees paid fun time together, but unfortunately we just could not all be free for the same dates. It’s literally like living two lives – and I love it! Of course, the cash from escorting or the sales of movie clips and occasional paid porn scene is very nice too!
The cons are the restrictions that I can put on my body and mind. I aim to leave two to three days between bookings to ensure both my body and mind are fully refreshed, which does mean having to turn down many bookings from regular and new clients. Anything more often than that and performance can begin to suffer, whether it be mentally or physically. And it’s the same for any guy any age. I also feel that the clients respect me for that too. If I was leaving one appointment to go to another, my service would not be good and I would likely never see either couple again! So guys will find it hard to make a full time living out of the adult industry without something giving way – either on a porn set, escort booking or in his personal life. It is also very difficult to have a relationship when working as a porn performer/escort. It would take a very understanding partner from outside of the industry to accept this lifestyle, or the other option would be deceitful and keep it from them. I therefor choose to remain single, as dating somebody within the industry would, for me, open up a whole host of other problems.

See, guys?! It’s not all champagne and wall to wall pussy for a male escort! It’s hard work and requires a sensible head – which Sean does indeed have! As with any type of job, it does affect your life in more ways than just bringing home the bacon.
There are bad things about the job, as with any job – which Sean outlines in his next response…

As far as bad experiences are concerned, they have been very few and far between, the most notable being when a married couple arrived at my house for an in call escort booking and the female was so obviously being pushed into the meeting, We went ahead and did the deed, but she was very tense and did not want to undress. In hindsight I should have, and now would under the same circumstances, stopped things before they progressed. I have since heard from the guy asking to meet with me and his new girlfriend, so possibly that meeting was part of what helped terminate a failing relationship, so maybe I did her a favour in that respect after all! Also, in the porn industry guys can be treated like mindless pieces of meat with unnecessary pressures put on them by videographers/directors. Being told “you need to cum in 30 seconds” with no prior warning can have the complete opposite effect of what they want to achieve. A bit more TLC offered to the guys may result in them being able to produce much better scenes than some of the dross that is out there.

Sean’s final response, to the question “what do you like/dislike about your job?” is similar to one of my earlier contributors – remember Mystery Contributor X? She felt she had to keep this side of her life secret from her “vanilla” cohorts, on account of the undoubted reaction it would cause…

The thing I really dislike about working in the adult industry is having to keep it to myself and not letting my family and friends know what I do, as society does paint a very poor picture of the whole scene. I feel I have to protect them from people knowing that their son/brother/father/friend/etc etc is in the adult industry. A real shame in fact, as most of the people I know in the industry would get on with my friends and family really well.

A real shame indeed. When will people realise that sex work, is still just work?! It’s not a revolting, sinful, disgusting way of life, just a different one. Yes of course there are bad parts to it, but aren’t there in every occupation?! Such as government, the police, the banks…?! I digress, yet again. But Sean raised some very good points, as have all of the wonderful people who have contributed to my blog so far, and these points deserve attention and consideration! It’s all very well making judgements and making a career out of trying to ban porn and prostitution (*COUGH* Gail Dines & Co *COUGH*) but without having actually spoken to sex workers who, God forbid, like their job?! Come on now…
I cannot stay on track tonight haha! A very big thank you to Sean, for answering my questions and lending us a little further insight into his world. Go follow him on Twitter!

Hello there lovely blog readers! My sincerest apologies for the lack of recent blog posts – I’ve been busy!
Anyway, whilst thinking what to write about next, I realised that people very rarely seem to discuss males in the adult industry – either those working within it, or those that use adult oriented services. And thus, my latest feature was born! People seems to focus solely on the women in the sex industry and I thought it would be good to focus on the boys for a change.
Today’s blog post comes courtesy of the lovely Ryan Ryder (@RyanRyderxxx). Ryan has been working n the industry for about a year and a half, as a male porn performer. An actor in a previous life, he has performed in many adult movies for most of the big companies out there – Playboy, Brazzers, Joybear, Dorcel, Killergram, Harmony…the list goes on. So obviously I was delighted when he agreed to contribute to my blog!
I am trying to get a different angle on those that work in the porn industry, so I asked Ryan if he thought men were treated differently to women, as performers…

Not really, apart from the fact men dont get paid as much as women! I have been treated with respect by the companies I have worked for but I have set myself out from the start to only work with the reputable companies so that has probably worked for me

Following on from this, I was interested to know if he felt “objectified” as a porn stud, seeing as this seems to be the main argument from the antis in their crusade against sexual entertainment. Interestingly, this isn’t something that seems to bother Ryan so much!

It depends on the type of shoot really. There are certain shoots that people might argue objectifies women but it cannot be argued that people get turned on by different thing so our industry caters for it. If it didn’t sell we wouldn’t film it! I am definitely objectified on some shoots but I don’t mind that. Those are the shoots that I just have to walk into shot with a hard on and you just see my penis throughout the entire scene so yes, I am objectified as “the penis” in those shoots! In others I have been featured as an actor in full on feature films with lots of script. I tend to enjoy those the best as I have come from a previous career as an actor.

People are always misconstruing the glamour and excitement of the porn industry – the reality of it is very different! When asked of the pros and cons of his job, Ryan says…

The pros and cons are prob similar to the girls…Pros – every day is different, the money is good, you don’t have to work every day if you don’t want to, I am in control of what shoots I perform in and you meet a lot of fun, interesting people. Cons – a LOT of driving, you don’t have any pensions or insurance or anything like that so you have to be sensible and sort out your own future while in this industry, if I break my leg at football this weekend I wont be able to earn until I am back performing which is why I am looking at getting involved in directing and producing and script writing this year as well as the performing side.

He then went on to discuss the downside – if you think about it, despite being paid less than the girls, guys in porn actually have a much harder job (in my humble opinion!)

Of course every guy in the industry (whether they wanna admit it or not lol) has had a day where for whatever reason you struggle to keep hard throughout the shoot. When I first started out it was at the forefront of my thoughts “I must keep my cock hard” it dominated my thoughts and throughout the day I would be playing with the bloody thing 2 hours before the cameras were rolling to make sure I could get it hard! I soon learned that you almost have to do the opposite which is relax, don’t worry about getting hard, trust that you are a good performer and that things will happen naturally when that time comes. I am so much more relaxed at shoots now and as a result my days are a lot less stressful.

So there you go guys, if you’re thinking of getting into porn, it’s not as easy as it looks!
A final word from Ryan:

Frequent masturbation cuts your risk of prostate cancer so bash away and enjoy the porn especially the scenes with me in them!
Follow me on my twitter @ryanryderxxx

Many thanks Ryan for your honesty and for featuring on this week’s blog! More to come from the punters – who uses escorts, watches porn, calls chat lines and goes on webcam, why, and what they feel about it all! #LetsHearItFromTheBoys

Hello dear readers and apologies for the brief hiatus between blog posts! I have been catching up on sleep and other trivial things after a series of night shifts. I also wanted to keep up momentum with the blog and find something to write about that would keep people interested! So I decided to write about good ol’ sexual health.

This is something I have always been quite paranoid about, since way before I got involved in adult work. I still remember to this day my very first trip to the clinic, convinced I had caught every STI under the sun only to be told that I had BV! Awkward… Not least for my poor boyfriend at the time who took extreme exception to being poked and prodded unnecessarily! But after that I developed something of a slight obsession with getting myself checked regularly. Not a bad thing I guess! I used to go even if (God forbid) I hadn’t actually had sex for ages, just to make sure that nothing had popped up unnoticed. The nurses in the local GUM clinic thought I was nuts.

But the fact is, SO many people are still worryingly ignorant or lax with their sexual health! I know people who have NEVER been tested. Ever. Can you imagine?!?! The only people who should have never been tested are virgins! We see it in the news all the time, STIs are on the up and people need to take responsibility for their sexual health and not just leave it to fate.

I actually even took the liberty to do some research for this blog entry, and have come up with some interesting statistics. Seeing as I have forgotten how to do my Harvard Referencing for an internet based document, here is the link to the Health Protection Report 2013: http://www.hpa.org.uk/hpr/archives/2013/hpr2313.pdf
This report states that:

The latest data show new STI diagnoses rose by five per cent in 2012 (up to 448,422 from 428,255 in 2011),mostly due to improved data collection.However, the continuing high STI rates in England suggest too many people are still putting themselves at risk through unsafe sex, especially young adults and men who have sex with men (MSM).

A breakdown of the different types of STI further showed:

Chlamydia remained the most commonly diagnosed STI (206,912; 46%), but considerable numbers of genital warts (73,893; 16%) and genital herpes (32,021; 7%) cases were also reported last year. New gonorrhoea diagnoses rose 21% overall (from 21,024 in 2011 to 25,525 in 2012), and by 37% in the MSM population (from 7,851 in 2011 to 10,754 in 2012 ).

Even more worryingly, it would appear that certain strains of gonorrhea are becoming resistant to antibiotics (my doctor at the private clinic I used to go to told me this well over a year ago – not long before I decided to quit porn for good):

High gonorrhoea transmission rates are concerning as the global threat of antibiotic resistance grows. Ensuring treatment resistant strains of gonorrhoea do not persist and spread remains a public health priority, and the Gonorrhoea Resistance Action Plan for England and Wales was launched by PHE to help tackle this threat in early 2013 [3].

A scary thought, no? An STI that has evolved to become resistant to treatment?! I know many people who are of the opinion that, as most STIs are easily treated, they aren’t too bothered whether they catch one of not. But if these infections are becoming harder to treat, this will have serious consequences and we have no idea what the long term effects will be – other than that people used to die of STIs. So it doesn’t bode well.

Interestingly, according to the report it was the under 25 age group that were experiencing the highest STI rates –

Those aged under 25 experienced the highest STI rates, contributing 64% chlamydia and 54% of genital warts diagnoses in heterosexuals in 2012.

Chlamydia is still the most common STI – 206,912 diagnoses in 2012 alone. I’m not going to go on about what it does, how it’s treated etc – that’s a job for the bloody schools in my opinion! Access to information of ANY kind is so simple and quick these days that in my opinion, ignorance is no excuse. I know that not all schools provide much of an education in this area but there are so many other places to get information – least of all, Google it! Google knows everything!

Sadly though this wealth of information doesn’t seem to be enough and I don’t know how to improve this situation. Adult performers are required to get themselves tested every 28 days (and should be more often in my opinion, after all, you’re fucking a bunch of people without protection on the regular – you don’t know what they’re doing off set! You don’t know that they’re not careful when they meet someone at the weekend! So many ASSHOLE performers think that just because they have a valid test they can fuck around off camera with all and sundry – NO!! THIS is where things get picked up and brought into the industry, putting everyone else in it at risk!) but even this is not a bulletproof solution. The fact of the matter is, the only way to totally avoid catching STIs is to not have sex. Now – that isn’t going to happen! So people need to THINK before they go around being irresponsible – and I don’t just mean performers and escorts, I mean EVERYONE. It’s your LIFE at the very crux of this, not to mention the lives of people you may inadvertently affect due to being stupid and irresponsible. Wrap it up before you slap it up boys, and girls, make sure he puts his raincoat on! You cannot rely on tests, as, like a cars’ MOT, it’s only actually valid the day you get it done – yet, as a porn star, you will fuck an indiscriminate amount of people without protection based on the so-called reliability of that “cert”. YOU may be careful and responsible outside of work, but you cannot trust that everyone else is – especially, when I know for a fact they are not.

There have been calls for all porn to be shot using condoms – indeed, Measure B in California stipulates this is a mandatory requirement – despite people being able to repeal it as an infringement of their human rights. I do think that this should be the case – you can’t police people’s sexual activity off camera, so this is the next best thing to keep people safe. After all, we encourage the general public to always wear condoms – do we care more about their sexual health than that of adult actors and actresses?! Of course, there is much opposition to this suggestion, so it seems no one can win.

I genuinely don’t know how to improve sexual health, or how to make people realise just how serious it is to look after your sexual health – any ideas?! All I do know is that is not just important for those who have sex for a living, but for ALL people, and the sooner that people realise this and start taking responsibility for their sexual health, the sooner those scarily huge STI figures may finally start to drop.

This week has seen a great response to my #NotJustAPrettyFace feature so I thought I’d finish it off with my own experiences before starting a new theme next week!

Where to start… I left sixth form after my A Levels and started a university course in BEd Primary Education – originally I wanted to be a teacher. However I soon decided that I did not like the way the education system worked and nor was I actually a fan of small kids so I left after one year – which I passed, by the by. I worked in a shop for six months or so before landing a job at the local county court, where I stayed for two years.
I was 20 when I started working there, and although I liked earning I felt that I hadn’t finished my further education journey and decided to go back. This time I enrolled at a different university on a BSc Psychology and Criminology undergraduate degree.

My time in county court meant that I’d developed an interest in the legal system and I wanted to go back into it with a little more training behind me – my plan was to work in either the prison, police or probation services in some psychological capacity. However, life didn’t work out that way! The recession hit in my second year and by the time I’d graduated the public sector had absolutely no job opportunities whatsoever. I left uni with a 2:1 that I worked my little ass off for, and nowhere to go. None of the jobs I wanted thought I had the relevant experience, whilst all the retail/office/pub/cleaning jobs wouldn’t hire me as I was overqualified and they didn’t trust that I wouldn’t leave as soon as something better came along.

To say this pissed me off was an understatement! I’m a clever girl and can do most things asked of me, I just wanted to work, man, and no one seemed to give me a break. So after six months on the bastard dole I signed up with a temping agency and started doing random office jobs before finally landing a permanent job for a travel company.

I absolutely, categorically, HATED this fucking job. I mean I was grateful to be in employment and earning a reasonable salary, but where was the amazing career promised me for being a university graduate?! Schools and colleges tell you that if you have a degree, the world is your oyster – it’s bullshit. It’s a distinct advantage, yes, and maybe one day when the economy recovers, this will be the case again – but I shan’t hold my breath.

Anyway – I digress. So after a year at this company being miserable, they buggers tried to sack me for gross misconduct – I shan’t go into details but basically I took them to court and they paid me off – I wasn’t in the wrong! But immediately following my dismissal, I panicked. What the hell was I going to do?! Frantically I called my old temping agency and they miraculously got me in at the magistrates court, but as I was also at college one day a week doing my nail technician course I only worked three days a week to begin with. This obviously was not enough to keep me going.
This, dear readers, is the point at which I ventured onto Adultwork! I’d heard about this site from a friend years back, but had been too scared to try it. This time, however, I thought – what have I got to lose?!

The first time I went on webcam I was petrified. For weeks I wouldn’t even show my face on there, just incase someone in court recognised me! But my first night on there I made about what I used to make in a week in court, on my crappy laptop with built in webcam and shockingly show internet connection.

And the rest, as they say, is history! I have never looked back since that very fist night on cam, drunk, nervous and terrified I’d be spotted by someone I knew. I kept it secret for ages but then started telling my friends and eventually my family. Thankfully everyone was supportive and actually thought it quite funny! Webcam opened up an awful lot of opportunities for me and I absolutely love life. I only wish I had started sooner – during my three years at university I had five different jobs (gym bar staff, local pub, office, HMV and gym receptionist) and even though these were flexible and allowed me to work around my studies, I know now that webcam would have been a far more lucrative endeavour for me – I wouldn’t now have the debt that I do. I’ve not had any negative responses to what I do, and I realise that I am very lucky in this respect. My family have always supported me 100% and even though this isn’t what they may have chosen for me, they understand why I chose this path and are proud of me for making a career in an industry that I love – despite its flaws, it allowed me to do things I never could have done staying what I was doing before. I’ve met fabulous people, travelled for work, won an award, I work from home as and when I choose, moved to a lovely flat I could never otherwise have afforded and have an enviable shoe collection! What more could a girl want?!

I do think that my degree helps me understand people better, which is vital when dealing with people in the manner that I do. Finding out what makes them tick and how to adapt what I do to suit their needs is really important, as it ensures they get the best service and will keep coming back. My regulars are brilliant and I genuinely love talking to them. My eyes are well and truly opened to all the weird and wonderful fetishes out there and nothing surprises me anymore – a topic for another blog perhaps?!

But anyway, that is how I ended up where I am now – there were many adventures along the way, which I shall regale you with some other time! I’m currently at ChatGirl right now, producing through the night, so make sure you’re watching and make sure you keep up to date with this blog – there’s way more to come…xxx

How we all doing today gang?!
So yesterday I had the most hits on my blog EVER! I am so pleased by the ositive comments and feedback that it’s receiving. Today I bring you the marvellous Kimberley Scott! (@sexyplaymatexxx)
Kimberley hails from Eastern Europe, now living in the UK, and describes herself as a “indi companion, party organizer and party girl, XXX/Glam/Adult model and performer, cam girl” – so she is a lady of many talents. She has been working in the adult industry since she was 18 years old so has seen it all! She is also a clever sort, and actually has a degree in Psychology – just like yours truly.

Initially I wanted to continue with MIT and System Administration (high school diploma is A of Graphic Design and Video Editing) but unfortunately there was no satisfying subject in the Uni of my lil town so I went to the capital, started my sex work (more free time for studies and of course a lot better pay). Dealing with different people every day made me re-think my study ambitions and I went for Psychology. At the end of the day I was and still am practicing it in my work so I just wanted to know what makes people tick. I just wanted to know what drives people to do the things they do.

Psychology is definitely very useful in this line of work, in my opinion, as it allows you understand how and why people may think the way that they do, and really get under their skin and provide the best service that you can!
Kimberley was already working in the adult industry when she began her studies – the money was good enough to allow her to fund herself through university, and she felt that she didn’t have that many options so adult work seemed like a good choice! As she said herself, the country she hails from isn’t know for looking after it’s people terribly well.
After university, Kimberley wanted to work in the police force, or as a forensic psychologist. However, this didn’t go to plan…

I’ve always wanted to be a police officer or at least in the forces. After 5 years in uni doing psychology I knew what I wanted to do – I wanted to be a forensic psychologist. Unfortunately there were way too many obstacles like corruption and sleaziness so I went on different path.

During her time at university, not many people we aware of Kimberley’s job, and she says that those that were, either weren’t that bothered or were doing the same thing themselves! She even hints that certain skillsets from the job may have helped certain people in their academic pursuits…

There weren’t that many people knew what I was doing but those that knew didn’t really care. It was more interesting to them how my world works than actually being prejudice. When I finished uni 40% of girls were doing my job to fund studies or just for better, glamorous life (In some case the marks were depending on certain skills too, hush hush of course)

Many times I have counted my blessings and been thankful that I live in a society where my choices are my own and that I have the support of my friends and family. Kimberley also says that she is lucky in this respect.

Thankfully western world is a lot more tolerant with sex work and women choosing to do that job so there is not that much surprise, unfortunately there are still some people thinking that we’re forced to do it and we’re wasting our potential. I’m blessed that my family and closest friends are ok with my job and I can share my thoughts and feelings free.

Some people, of course, do not have this attitude to sex workers, and Kimberley sums this up quite nicely in her final thoughts – citing religion and society as the biggest opposition in the fight for sexual freedom!

Sex work in general can be very rewarding in many ways – Financial independence, sexual freedom, knowing yourself better and overall well being. The society although makes it sound like biggest disgrace hiding behind Bible, old fashioned customs and some powerful people’s misunderstandings. In this day and age women can CHOOSE on their own to be sex workers or not. Yes, there is a dark side to it but isn’t there for everything? Yes, it is dangerous but tell me what job is not dangerous? At the end of the day that’s our lives and we going to live it the way we want to.

Wise words from a smart lady. I think that forcing small businesses into bankruptcy for profit is immoral, but you don’t see people protesting against banks as a whole. I also think that sitting around on your ass all day expecting the state to foot the bill for your lazy lifestyle is pretty wrong, but you don’t get people holding conferences discussing how this type of immorality eats away at our society and creates a horde of useless drones. Thank you, Kimberley, for your contribution to today’s blog – and keep up the good work girl!

You know what really grinds my gears?!

Well, it’s not the biggest source of annoyance in my life, but it is one of them. People seems to forget that, as a porn performer, cam girl, babeshow host, whatever – that you are a real person. They don’t seem to stop and think that the character you are portraying on screen or cam or phone is not actually you. They think that the perpetually horny, potty mouthed filth-monger is actually the real you – and they could not be more wrong!

It annoys me that people think they can tweet you pictures of their dick, or lewd comments about how to cure your sore throat, and you won’t get peeved about it! I know that of course, this is to be expected – after all, we are working in the sex industry and playing a part, so naturally people think this way. Without these people, we wouldn’t have jobs – but it irks me that some don’t seem to grasp that it is just a role to be played and I would appreciate it far more if they would consider the reality of it all sometimes!

It also pisses me right off that punters/viewers/whatever think they know you. They think they know every last intricate detail of your personality and character. I see people constantly banging on about what a lovely girl so-and-so is, how nice whats-her-face is, what a true gem thingybob is. You’ve never met these people – I have, and she’s a dickhead! She’s got a bad attitude! She’s painfully stupid! The bottom line is, you only see what you want to see in adult workers, or what they allow you or choose for you to see. And that’s fine, as I said already, we are all just doing our jobs, playing a part. But don’t get it twisted – you never truly know someone until you have met them and spent a considerable amount of time with them. You can’t sit there and say that some girl is the nicest person in the world when you’ve been jerking off down the phone to her – that’s what she wants you to think! You can say that she’s good at her, job, and you enjoy talking/camming/watching with her, but how can you possibly say that you know them?! And know them so well as to make grand statements about the inner workings of her true personality?!

I know I sound like I’m being ungrateful, having been one of these girls myself (and still am a cam/phone worker) and trying to shatter the illusion many spend lots of their money on. I’m not. There is nothing wrong with a little fantasy, escaping reality from time to time and indulging yourself in a sexual daydream. I just wish that people would sometimes consider that we are real people with real failings, flaws and personality defects just as much a good natures, great senses of humour and a friendly bit of verbal intercourse!

The constant praise and compliments of people over-inflates their egos – especially the ones who are total knobends, as they know they are knobends, but think that these fans believe the illusion and the glamour and they’ve got away with not being found out to be a knobend. Which os course just fuels the cycle of being a knobend, so much that they forget who they really are, and when it’s all over for them and they have no other way to make a living they stop and think – “fuck, I am actually a knobend”.

Of course play the part, be the fantasy whilst working, do your job well, keep the guys happy. But remember, when it’s 3am and something terrible happens, you’re going to need real friends and real support, not just the misplaced and misinformed adoration of strangers.

Keep it real, people!