Archive for the ‘The Truth Behind The Fantasy’ Category

You know what really grinds my gears?!

Well, it’s not the biggest source of annoyance in my life, but it is one of them. People seems to forget that, as a porn performer, cam girl, babeshow host, whatever – that you are a real person. They don’t seem to stop and think that the character you are portraying on screen or cam or phone is not actually you. They think that the perpetually horny, potty mouthed filth-monger is actually the real you – and they could not be more wrong!

It annoys me that people think they can tweet you pictures of their dick, or lewd comments about how to cure your sore throat, and you won’t get peeved about it! I know that of course, this is to be expected – after all, we are working in the sex industry and playing a part, so naturally people think this way. Without these people, we wouldn’t have jobs – but it irks me that some don’t seem to grasp that it is just a role to be played and I would appreciate it far more if they would consider the reality of it all sometimes!

It also pisses me right off that punters/viewers/whatever think they know you. They think they know every last intricate detail of your personality and character. I see people constantly banging on about what a lovely girl so-and-so is, how nice whats-her-face is, what a true gem thingybob is. You’ve never met these people – I have, and she’s a dickhead! She’s got a bad attitude! She’s painfully stupid! The bottom line is, you only see what you want to see in adult workers, or what they allow you or choose for you to see. And that’s fine, as I said already, we are all just doing our jobs, playing a part. But don’t get it twisted – you never truly know someone until you have met them and spent a considerable amount of time with them. You can’t sit there and say that some girl is the nicest person in the world when you’ve been jerking off down the phone to her – that’s what she wants you to think! You can say that she’s good at her, job, and you enjoy talking/camming/watching with her, but how can you possibly say that you know them?! And know them so well as to make grand statements about the inner workings of her true personality?!

I know I sound like I’m being ungrateful, having been one of these girls myself (and still am a cam/phone worker) and trying to shatter the illusion many spend lots of their money on. I’m not. There is nothing wrong with a little fantasy, escaping reality from time to time and indulging yourself in a sexual daydream. I just wish that people would sometimes consider that we are real people with real failings, flaws and personality defects just as much a good natures, great senses of humour and a friendly bit of verbal intercourse!

The constant praise and compliments of people over-inflates their egos – especially the ones who are total knobends, as they know they are knobends, but think that these fans believe the illusion and the glamour and they’ve got away with not being found out to be a knobend. Which os course just fuels the cycle of being a knobend, so much that they forget who they really are, and when it’s all over for them and they have no other way to make a living they stop and think – “fuck, I am actually a knobend”.

Of course play the part, be the fantasy whilst working, do your job well, keep the guys happy. But remember, when it’s 3am and something terrible happens, you’re going to need real friends and real support, not just the misplaced and misinformed adoration of strangers.

Keep it real, people!


…no, not what you’re thinking you dirty buggers!

It’s 04:43 in the morning and I am producing on ChatGirl. Kimmy Haze is in on the overnight shift with me and I thought I would take this moment to write a little about “babe show” work.

It is not easy! Behind or in front of the camera. In front, you have to make sure you look appealing and fun and alluring for the duration of your entire shift. This is, of course particularly hard when it’s late night or early morning – any kind of shift work messes with your system regardless of what you are doing on said shift. You also have to entertain all manner of callers, act like you haven’t had 28 identical phone calls already or just been asked the most strange and unusual thing you’ve ever heard of (how on earth can you get off to THAT?!), and on top of all that you’re feeling under pressure to rack up a decent amount of minutes to make it worth the companies’ while to continue giving you shifts. You end up twisting yourself into all sorts of odd positions in order to display the parts the caller wants to see, hold a phone, and stop yourself from falling over. If you’re on a television show, rather than a web based show, you have to be aware of, and ensure you are adhering to, Ofcom rules and regulations – not doing or saying anything too rude and depraved, not showing anything too explicit, and so on…big fines are in place for breaches of this nature and your producer won’t be happy if you foul up!

As Kimmy has just said to me, it would seem you have to have multiple personalities in order to be a successful babe show “babe”. You have to be all things to all people. Whoever is on the end of your phone has a perception of you in his head; you’re his fantasy woman for the next five minutes and in order to keep that caller happy you have to pretend that yes, you’d really love him to shove his (clearly exaggerated) 15 inch penis right up your backside while he’s wearing his wife’s knickers and bellowing like an injured wildebeest.

They don’t care that you’re tired, or fed up, or bored, starving, dying for a wee or aching like buggery downstairs. To them, you’re not a real person with thoughts and feelings – much like those poor buggers in your car insurance or mobile phone customer service department that you scream at when they’ve fucked up somewhere – you’re an outlet for their deviant desires and wanking whims.

Of course that’s a generalisation; you do get lovely callers who know you and follow you and do just call up to see how you are. That is however the minority.

On the other side of the camera, it’s also not an easy job. You are required to make sure girls are on screen, on time, with a phone logged in and ready to go. Keep the camera on the right spots, zoom in when necessary, move every time the girl moves, make sure they’re not sitting there looking and feeling bored. Keep an eye on minutes and callers coming through. Promoting the show on various social networking and industry websites. Taking lots of pictures to accompany said promotions. Hurrying them back off their breaks or toilet visits. And so on. When it’s quiet or the girl is on the phone, you’re pretty much left to your own devices, which is hard when it’s late and you’re sleepy.

There really is a lot more to it than just sitting there shaking a phone.

Now tell me it’s not a real job!