I wrote this over a year ago and never published it. I just came across it now and thought it was still worth a share!
I am bored.
I am bored of seeing the same outfits on every single Domme I see. The same latex, the same shoes, the same “look”. Were they all made in a factory?
I am bored of seeing the same type of clips, the same angles, the same content, hearing the same boring script over and over again. I am bored of hearing the same put-on voice, the same phrases, the same inflections, heavy breathing, mannerisms, words.
It’s like Femdom has become a mass produced commodity, churned out endlessly, with no creativity, no love for the craft, no original thought. If I wear this, and say that, then I am a Domme. Really? There is a big difference between “looking the part” and actually being able to do the job.
Where is the origniality? Where is the creativity? Where is the thinking outside the box? It feels like everyone is trying to copy everyone else. It’s like no one is unique, no one is different, they are all spat out of the same mould, identikit copies of one another, each getting more and more diluted as the market gets more and more saturated.
There are some who stand out from the crowd. Those who genuinely are themselves, that don’t need to subscribe to a certain look or way of being that they believe everyone else expects them to be. But there are not many. These are the trailblazers, the trendsetters, the ones who really get it. They are the ones everybody else tries to mimic and emulate. But they are few and far between.
I don’t say this to try and throw shade on my contemporaries. I guess I am struggling to enjoy the scene as I once did, when it was new, and fresh, and exciting to me. I accept that things change, and the landscape has changed considerably over my time in the industry – it is now over ten years since I began this journey. The incessant censoring of the internet, the constant upheaval of policy change; new, restrictive laws being implemented, platform collapses and all those other things that affect and shape our world are all contributing factors in my general feeling of malaise.
For me, being a Domme means following your own path. Doing what makes you happy, wearing what you feel comfortable in, speaking your truth. I tried for a long time to follow the crowd, and it never felt right for me. I never felt that I was being me; I felt I was trying to follow a recipe with half the ingredients missing. Now, I wear what I want, I say what I want, I create what I want and I do it in my own way. Some people might not dig that about me, and that’s ok. I don’t want to draw people into my sphere that aren’t on the same wavelength as me. I don’t want to pretend or be disingenuous just because it’s what’s expected of someone in my line of work. I am following my own path and it can be quiet sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.