Chastity is a fascinating topic and one that deserves its place in my blog as it’s something I really do enjoy on a personal level. As with all my blog posts, I can’t include everything in one post regarding a lot of the subjects I discuss, because they are just so vast and it would take me forever. This is certainly one of those posts, and Chastity is a kink that I will certainly be revisiting in future posts.
I can’t recall exactly when I first became aware of chastity as a form of fetish play. I was certainly aware of it in the context of medieval princesses being locked away by their weird creepy dads (the chastity belt scene in Robin Hood: Men in Tights springs to mind!) – and at this point I could go down the rabbit hole of the social construct of virginity and how it has been used to oppress women for centuries, but I will restrain myself from going there today! I certainly had never had any cause to consider chastity before entering the adult industry, so it’s something I have only been aware of within the last 10 years-ish.
At first, I didn’t really think about it too much – oh cool, you can lock a dude’s cock away as a form of punishment, isn’t that neat?! Cue evil laughter. However, it took a little while for me to really delve deeper into this fetish and understand it that’s it’s not necessarily about taking something away from the guy, or to punish him – and my knowledge only started to grow as I talked to people about it. Around about 2013, I got talking to a guy on Twitter named Andy (@ruffledsheets) who is a chastity enthusiast! (If you are interested in chastity, his website is well worth a look – check it out here). Through those early conversations, I started to understand that, for some people certainly, it was more about power play and connection. I started to ask more questions; guys who would come and talk to me on cam, or visit me for sessions, or call my phone lines – if they mentioned they were into chastity I asked them everything I could! I really appreciate it when people take the time to explain their kinks and fetishes to me- not that they are obliged to, ever, and I appreciate that some guys just want to talk, get their nut, and go! But when someone takes the time to explain something new to me, especially when it’s something that’s important to them, I really appreciate it.
As with my previous blogs, I am definitely not trying to claim that I am an expert, or that my thoughts and findings are the definitive guide to whatever particular fetish I happen to be talking about at the time. All I am doing is presenting my thoughts and findings and hoping that it makes sense! For me, chastity is a subtle yet very intense form of power play. Yes, denying a man access to his favourite toy could – and often is – seen as some kind of cruel punishment or mean trick to the vanilla person in the street. Who on earth in their right mind would lock up their genitals and give the key to someone else? My question, as a Domme, a professional pervert and kinkster, is – who wouldn’t?
Chastity play that I have indulged in with clients is incredibly satisfying. The power play is what does it for me. The thrill of knowing that my sub has handed over control of his very sex to me – I say when he can come out, if at all – gives me such a rush. He cannot do anything with his cock unless I allow it. He can’t masturbate or have sex unless I say he can. His sexual pleasure is entirely in my hands and that kind of power is…hot. Because then the real fun can start! I love teasing and tormenting a guy that is locked up in chastity. I love putting him through his paces, to see how far he is willing to go to earn that orgasm that I am so cruelly withholding. To see how het up and desperate I can make him for release, only to keep him locked up for just a little bit longer…delicious!
In my experience, vanilla men – on the whole! – are crap at deferring their gratification and they rush to orgasm without taking time to appreciate the slow, languid build up of sensation that comes with abstinence. They barrel towards the point of no return and leap into the abyss in such a rush that they miss out on a lot of pleasure – they take their orgasm for granted and don’t acknowledge just how much more intense their sex lives could be, if they slowed down and learned to appreciate their sexual pleasure. Keeping a guy on the edge, desperate for release but also craving the confinement – there’s a lot to be said for the fun that can be had whilst being chaste. Being locked up, whether its for the duration of a session or months or years on end, means that during that time, you are mine. I own you. Being in chastity itself isn’t necessarily what’s so hot – but the fact that I have you put you into it. It doesn’t affect me in the slightest. I could, in theory, lock you up and forget all about it. No such luck for you – having that chastity cage on is a vice-like reminder of how much control I have over you. You need me – you cannot get out of your cage unless I decide to release you – and I might not decide to do that for a very long time!
There is so much that one can do with chastity. It’s another one of those fetishes that links so well with lots of others, so that it can become a part of a much larger scene or concept of play, or it can be enjoyed as a standalone fetish by itself. Chastity and bondage, chastity and cross-dressing, chastity and strap-on, chastity and foot worship – the list goes on and on, and the only limit is your imagination!
I’ve had subs in long term chastity in both online and real-time sessions, I’ve had guys that can only be locked up when they are in session with me, and those who can spend their everyday lives in chastity. I wear a key about my neck for one sub in particular, I have never held a key for some of my subs. Chastity play is really versatile, and also adaptable. There are so many different devices available now, that finding one to fit your particular needs is not as difficult as you might think. A lot of people lead lives that are not necessarily conducive to wearing a device all the time (for instance I know of one chap in particular who’s work takes him inside nuclear power plants, where he has to go through decontamination chambers and get undressed – obviously a chastity device would raise some eyebrows!), so some of my subs can only wear their devices when they’re at home, or on cam with me, and so on. These guys often mention how they would love to be able to go into their devices full time, but family or work or medical issues can bar them from doing so. And I understand – sometimes people’s kinks don’t always fit into their lives easily, particularly one that can be as visible as chastity. The hardcore chastity guys may be able to keep themselves in mental chastity; however, the temptation is just too great for some!
I will certainly revisit chastity in subsequent blogs; I haven’t even mentioned the different types of devices, or recounted any of my excellent chastity stories (of which there are many). For now though, I will bid you farewell, and offer a challenge for those who should choose to accept it – try and abstain from sex and masturbation for one week. Do not touch yourself for seven days. If you’re feeling brave, watch some of my Chastity videos while you’re abstaining. See how it goes. It might give you a fresh new perspective on something new and exciting…failing that, please hit the “Like” button and share!