Wednesday Wonderings – Dumb Things Men Say

Disclaimer: I know men say a lot of dumb stuff, and so do women, and so do trans people, NB people, and all other flavours of people. However this morning some specific dumb things men say were on my mind, so I wrote them down to get them out of my head and give some of you either a laugh or food for thought!


I’ve been in the jizz biz for a long time now (eight years and counting if you like numbers and data) and I really have seen and heard it all. I was thinking lately about things that I hear quite often in my line of work – but also, I sometimes hear these things in the “real” world too. So, here’s a selection of a few of my favourite things that men say, and how I now respond to them.


Guy: Oh Mistress, I want to serve you

Me: oh ok, how you gonna do that then?

Guy: well I would like to cum for you

Cum for me? How in the sweet name of fuck does that constitute “serving” me?! How does you getting your nut benefit me in any way whatsoever!? That’s not servitude or submission, it’s sexual selfishness. This is rooted in man’s belief that he is entitled to orgasms any time, any place, and it’s woman’s job to make that happen. Get in the sea.


Guy: Oh Mistress, you’re incredible, I’d do anything for you

Me: anything?

Guy: anything at all! Name it!

Me: ok give me money

Guy: no not that

Again, this is something I hear from soooo many dickheads on the internet. What they’re actually saying, is that they will do whatever they want to do, under the guise of me having told them to do it, when they have already told me what that is. Sexual selfishness again. They don’t wish to serve, they are not submissive, they don’t give a fuck about what I might actually want or need, they just want to empty their horrible balls and pretend it’s what I want?! Your orgasm doesn’t pay my bills asshole, so unless it’s accompanied by payment, you can again, take a long walk into the sea and stay there.


Guy: Mistress, I’d like to do some edge play

Me: ok great, don’t cum until I tell you to

Guy: oh sorry, I came already, you’re so hot, it’s a compliment

This one crosses over into real life as well as online life – this is NOT a compliment. It is yet another example of sexual selfishness, incompetence and lack of self-control. It shows a complete disregard for their partner’s pleasure or enjoyment (in a real-world setting) and a complete lack of respect or seriousness for my time and skills professionally. What you’re really saying is, you’ve been wanking for hours and you just want someone cute to look at while you blow your beans. Get. In. the. Sea.


Guy: Mistress I want to be your slave

Me: ok great, what you need to do is pay me a dep-



Oh no, I want a lifestyle arrangement, I want someone who does it because they love it, not because they’re getting paid

Jesus fucking Christ this is my favourite. Yes, random man off the internet that I’ve never met before in my life, I’ll allow you full access to me time, energy and entire life without any kind of financial reimbursement, because YOU ARE MAN AND MAN GET WHAT HE WANTS. These are the ones than can get in the sea AND boil their own heads. It takes time and effort to end up in my world, and very few can actually be bothered to invest either, because all they’re really seeking is instant gratification. Connections are forged over time and every one of boys has earned his spot in my ranks. Each one has been polite, followed instructions, turned up on time, PAID ME, and done whatever I have asked of them without question. In turn, I give them the space and safety to be themselves, to explore their dark side, and to connect with me on a very deep level. And they have done so, consistently, over years. They’re not the entitled, horny douchebags that email me at 3am, dick in hand, demanding I cater to their whims. My boys stay because they want to, and they got here because they earned it. Servitude is about making your Mistress’s life better, easier, more fulfilling. Not about blowing your wad whilst pretending to be a sub, because you think if you pretend you are a sub you will get more of my attention. If I don’t know you, only one thing will get my attention and that is CASH.

I don’t collar my subs. I don’t need to. They have the freedom to choose what they do and who they spend their time with and EVERY SINGLE TIME they choose me. No coercion, no demanding – I’ve certainly never slid into anyone’s DMs trying to bully them into my service. They know what I expect of them and they make sure they fulfil those expectations. They know that they only have one shot with me – you fuck up, you’re gone. I have no time for anything that doesn’t enrich or enhance my life.

THAT is how you serve me.